A meme and a poem

I've been trying not to think too much about poetry for the last couple of days (NaPoWriMo burnout), but this morning I remembered Writers Island posts prompts on Friday, and so I went out to take a look. This week's prompts are "identity" and "ferocious". I was eating breakfast but right away got a good idea of where I wanted to go and within a half hour I finished it. And felt really good about it!

Then I sat back and wondered why I had such a difficult time with NaPoWriMo. If I could characterize my experience with one word it would be disappointment. I'm disappointed I didn't do more reading of favorite and unfamiliar poets as I had planned. I'm disappointed I didn't get out to other participants' blogs and websites to read and comment on their poetry. I'm disappointed it felt so labored to write a poem on a daily basis. January at Poet Mom posted a NaPoWriMo meme, and contemplating my answers helped me get to the bottom of the disappointment.

1. Number of poems written in April. 30.
2. Number of poems you’ll keep and revise. Hmm. Not sure. I don't have good a history of revising once I've set aside a poem. But I should start doing more of that, I think.
3. List the titles of your top three NaPoWriMo poems. My haiku Sunday; Aunt Nancy's Paddle; Icarus Considers
4. List your three least favorite NaPoWriMo poems. Slipstream; American sentences; Signs and Wonders
5. Favorite line from one of your NaPoWriMo poems. "to laugh in the gaping jaw/the hollow sockets of my own mortality"
6. Favorite poem by a NaPoWriMo participant. The De Chiriku, by mariachristina
7. What surprised you most about writing a poem a day? How guilty I felt about taking the time to hammer out and rework an entire poem in one day. Even the short ones. I had so much going on, and I felt guilty about spending time on poetry, even just reading other people's poetry. Also the pressure; it was hard to feel like I HAD to get a poem done each day, and some days I procrastinated just to rebel against the pressure. I noticed I do well writing under pressure when it doesn't have to be creative, just straightforward. But poetry or other creative writing? I felt very forced trying to crank something out every single day. It was weird how this exercise pushed a lot of emotional buttons for me.
8. Now that you’ve started the momentum, what’s next? Taking it easy. Writing for fun. Finding balance between life and art.

Oh, and here's what I wrote this morning...


I’m Not a Good Girl Any More

I used to be a good girl, used to
take only burnt slices of bacon
iron cloth and hearts I hadn’t wrinkled
take self-righteous comfort in rejection’s purity
hold in pain, opinions, passions
only to lash out with acid tongue
when bile boiled over and
my carefully constructed identity imploded
I’m not good any more
I’m better.

Ten by ten

The task at hand: ten stanzas about me
ten couplets full of useless facts, you’ll see

I write calligraphy, draw, paint, can fruit
do triathlons and sew myself a suit

each number and each letter I’ve assigned
gender; as a synesthete, it’s only in my mind

I’m loyal but I tend to talk too much
forget birthdays, thank you cards and all such

I’m kind but have an unforgiving heart
procrastinate a task when loathe to start

my urge to fold and stack towels just so
is bordering compulsion, yes, I know

no less obsessive is my closet’s view
of all-white hangers, sorted clothes by hue

somehow housework dodged my neurotic streak
I only scrub my toilets each fourth week

my predilections run to hounds-tooth plaid
cheesecake, new shoes, massages, being glad

I would take the burnt bacon slice, before
to be nice; I don’t do that any more.

Deb at Stoney Moss tagged me with a meme to write ten stanzas about myself. After several attempts, I finally settled on this rather silly version in iambic pentameter. I'm tagging people who don't usually put poetry on their blogs because I'd love to see what they write: Dory, Ruth, Meredith, Margaret, Lo, Hilary, Aubrey, NCS, Kim and Dean (yo! Dean, you're the only person I know without a single post on your blog; what's up with that?!)

Ten signs a book is written by me

Juliet at Crafty Green Poet challenged her visitors to take a go at this meme, and I confess it daunted me... which is why I decided to face my fear and do it.

Sometimes I think I was born with a genetically imprinted need to write. My maternal grandfather penned several never-published novels and I feel like I inherited his unfulfilled dream; from an early age I've fantasized about an illustrious career as an author (and as the world's first archaeologist ballerina; it could happen).

Sadly, most of my ideas for books have been rather hackneyed and lame; the only viable one has been for a historical tome about my great-great grandfather, an architect from Maine who left his family and went to the Klondike for the gold rush (which would be a strictly academic analysis and annotation of his Klondike diary).

I'd love to have my poetry published, but have only done so twice (and it was ages ago), so the thought of an entire book... boggles my mind. But I'm willing to try a bit of positive visualization in the form of a meme.

Ten signs a book is written by Chicklegirl:

1) It's dedicated to my grandpa, Clark Cottrell, Jr.
2) It is most likely poetry or nonfiction
3) It will make readers laugh (hopefully on purpose)
4) It probably contains too many four-syllable words
5) It has lots of pictures
6) It will make readers cry (also on purpose)
7) People who purchase it will feel they got their money's worth
8) People who borrow it from the library will decide to buy their own copy
9) It is short enough to leave readers wanting more
10) It won't inspire a string of slickly-produced Hollywood blockbusters starring Angelina Jolie as a buxom archaeologist/poet/ballerina who finds the Holy Grail and vanquishes the undead with a lethal combination of free verse and grand battement

Tag, i'm it

A couple of people have tagged me with this "Christmas Getting-to-Know-You" thingy in the last few days, so I guess I'm out of excuses. Just remember, you wanted to know these things about me, so you have only yourself to blame...

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping paper up until 8 p.m. on December 24th. After that, consider yourself lucky if it's bagged and tagged.
2. Real tree or artificial? Artificial. I lost the will (and the financial justification) to argue with Jim about it last year.
3. When do you put up the tree? Now that we have our fake pre-lit tree, December 1st.
4. When do you take the tree down? New Year's Day.
5. Do you like eggnog? Gotta have the nog!
6. Favorite gift received as a child? Parachute Pinatti.
7. Do you have a nativity scene? Yes. It’s made of glass and on well-protected display atop the mantle.
8. Hardest person to buy for? Mr. Picky-pants himself (that would be Jim).
9. Easiest person to buy for? Jimmy. Anything Star Wars, Dr. Seuss or Spiderman.
10. Worst Christmas gift? You know, I’m just grateful for whatever. Really.
11. Mail or email Christmas card? Received or sent? It was all I could do to get out Audrey’s birth announcements and the numerous thank you cards for baby gifts. So I’m doing my best to live with a raging feeling of inadequacy for not sending out Christmas cards this year. Thanks so much for reminding me.
12. Favorite Christmas movie? A Christmas Story, hands down, because as a child I had a dad who cussed like that, and got my own mouth washed out once or twice when I attempted to test the @!#$% double standard. But I’m not bitter.
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? The beginning of December, after the bills are paid.
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Nope. But in the interest of full disclosure, I have recycled both wedding and baby gifts.
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Grandma Mary’s nut rolls and Jim’s chocolate cheesecake.
16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Clear, non-blinking (no Christmas Las Vegas-style).
17. Favorite Christmas song? “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” and “Hark the Herald Angels Sing”.
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Home.
19. Can you name Santa's reindeer? Rudolf who?
20. Do you have an angel on top of your tree or a star? A gold star.
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Christmas morning .
22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? I’m not even remotely a fan of overly sentimental, cloying Christmas songs… those poor-orphan-with-no-shoes-playing-his-drum-and-buying-shoes-for-his-crippled-little-sister kind of songs. Yeah. Not so much.
23. What are you most thankful for this year? Reconciliation. Forgiveness. Laughter. Hugs and kisses from my babies.