Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Flying solo, day #11

Today I loaded the kids up and we drove to Yakima for a Costco run. Grieving or not, we were out of cheese and lunch meat, and two sandwiches away from no more peanut butter. My first foray back into being in public was relatively pain-free, at least until I tried to lift a 45-pound bag of cat litter.

On the plus side, I used fewer Kleenexes today than yesterday--though I'm still trying to sort through whether it actually makes me feel worse that each day I am crying a little less, that in a few months I will no longer feel this keen sense of loss, that someday I may forget how much I loved this little person who was with me for such a short time.


Super Happy Girl said...

Ok, I know it's your blog and everything but first of: all stop lifting heavy things. Seriously, don't. It's not worth it, ask for help.

Now, second: Help. Ask=Receive. It's okay, just think of all the years you didn't ask for any.

I'm sorry you hurt, I'm sorry your heart is in pain.

chicklegirl said...

SHG, you are so funny. It may make you feel better to know that not only am I saying "Yes" when people offer to help me, but actually asking for help when I need it.

Except maybe with the kitty litter. Chalk that one up to a major lapse in judgment.

aubrey said...

i know what you mean by time going by and not wanting to forget. wanting the pain to get better but not wanting to forget. love you.