Yeah. So.
Nurse Debbie called this morning and it's official: I have gestational diabetes. I'm relieved to not have to wait anymore; I'd much rather have the bad news, cope, and get on with life. It's still soon enough after the call that I'm trying to process how I feel and come to terms with it. Right now my overriding feeling is a sense of frustration and disappointment in myself at not taking better care of my health—and worry that I've already hurt the baby in some way. I'm desperately hoping that since we caught it quickly, the baby and I will both be fine. From what I've read, this is a relatively common pregnancy complication and thousands of women with it have gone on to deliver perfectly healthy babies. I know that dwelling on my sense of failure will only be counter-productive and now it's time to buck up, move on, and continue changing my lifestyle.
Hopefully some time in the next day or two I'll get there; I'm still working on it. Meanwhile, I'm off to the pharmacy after lunch to pickup my glucose meter.
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2 comments:
Oh sweetheart! I love you. Just remember that little one in there...you are the source of all of the nourishment that it needs; glucose, water, minerals, love, encouragement, etc. Basically, if you are going to feed that baby, you have to feed yourself, and to love that baby you have to love yourself. Forgive yourself and move on. This isn't your fault, but it is an great opportunity for you to learn to take great care of yourself. And you don't have to be perfect, you just have to give this everything you can give it...that changes from day to day. We want progress not perfection. Lay off the sugar and lay off the guilt, and you and baby will do just great. Sending you my love and give me a call if you need to talk, I know that you will do wonderful in this 3rd trimester, because you are such a Goddess! Create a little spot of peace and feed yourself with love.
You are so wise--what a comfort to have a sister like you! I'm doing better today, especially after finding out that the lancets for the glucose meter don't hurt nearly as much as I expected.
Thanks again for your good advice!
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